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auch wenn man mir Gegenteiliges sagt.
Es macht mir schwer zu schaffen, schon seit über 1 Monat fort. Klar sagt man sich- 3 Monate - hah- was ist das schon?
Stimmt schon auch.. seufz
Aber wie heißt es immer so schön? Zeit ist relativ.. je nachdem auf man wartet bzw halt auch eben nicht wartet. Ich vermisse ihn sehr…
Ich habe mal wieder die Erfahrung gemacht, wie leicht es zu Missverständnissen kommen kann (obwohl es kein Missverständnis war…) wenn man nur noch die Möglichkeit hat, sich via Internet zu unterhalten. Klar, besser als nichts… aber es ist kein schönes Gefühl. Es ist ein bekanntes Gefühl.
seufz
Leicht sind verletzende Worte gesagt, die hart treffen. Das passierte vor einigen Tagen und nagt immer noch an mir. Bin ich wirklich daran schuld?
War mein Zorn gerecht, auf diese Worte? Ich weiß es nicht.

By the way- wie oft habe ich schon in diesem Blog erwähnt, dass ich etwas nicht weiß?!

Seit er weg ist, habe ich mir eine neue Buchreihe angeschafft. Twilight. Oh Gott.. ich hätte eigentlich nicht gedacht dass ich so Etwas lesen würde. Aber sowie ich vom Flughafen mit Tränen zurück nach Hause ging las ich das erste Buch und war begeistert, innerhalb von etwa 9 Tagen
lass ich alle deutschen drei Bände und nun lese ich gerade den vierten, englischen Band. Leider ist es der Letzte. Naja.. alles hat ein Ende- oder?!
Hm.

Naja… ich habe heute dann wieder einen vollgestopften Tag vor mir.. seufz

Eigentlich ist dies ein öffentlicher Blog, und doch empfindet man es manchmal als unangenehm, wenn Personen die einem sehr Nahe stehen, in eben diesen lesen. Wieso ist das so?
Vielleicht weil zeitweise Gedanken durch unsere Köpfe schießen, die wir nur schwer mit anderen teilen können.. weil sie verletzen.. weil wir keine Worte finden… oder einfach (so geht es mir) sich zum Reden zu kraftlos fühlen. Dumm, nicht wahr?
Jetzt stehe ich da, in Erklärungsnot.. sollte mich wahrscheinlich rechtfertigen für Vergangenes … nicht Vergessenes ..
seufz

Habe ich mir etwas vorzuwerfen?

Keine weiteren Erläuterungen von Bedarf.

Eines hebt jedoch die Stimmung…
Meine Bebi und ich haben heute unseren Jahrestag
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Lebe wohl. Auf dass Du endlich Frieden findest- im Leben oder im Tod.

nach so langer Zeit getan.

War es gut? War es schlecht?
Ich weiß es nicht…

Bei einem gewissen Stande der Selbsterkenntnis und bei sonstigen für die Beobachtung günstigen Begleitumständen wird es regelmäßig geschehen müssen, das man sich abscheulich findet.
Franz Kafka

Kennt ihr das?

Ein Gefühl, was zermürbt, straft und verletzt.
Die Einsicht dass es hätte anders laufen können, und was dann gewesen wäre. Wo man so heute stattdessen stehen würde…

Worte… die eine bittere Erkenntnis bringen. Dinge, die man vergessen geglaubt hat, sind wieder präsent. Da fragt man sich- hat ein anderer Mensch das Recht dazu an solchen Dingen zu rühren? Auch wenn es ihn mit betrifft?

Ich weiß es nicht…. Da ist soviel… So viele Dinge waren an diesen Menschen gerichtet… Hier nun mein letzter Eintrag zu einen wichtigen Teil meines Lebens- der mich wohl noch lange beschäftigen wird.- In guter oder schlechter Hinsicht sei dahin gestellt.

Es tat jedenfalls schrecklich weh.
Verzeih uns beiden- und lebe wohl!